Ways to annoy the Sons of Ipswich
by Kos-Mos607
Summary: More Covenant humor from your favorite girl.
1. Chapter 1

Ahem, Ladies and Gents I present my latest chapter in the Covenant humor section "Ways To Annoy The Sons Of Ipswich". The idea just came to me the other day and I figured what the hell, most of you like my lists so here's one more. I started with Chase because technically he's the eldest and well, his stuff came natural. So with that, enjoy, laugh and comment please.

**Ways to annoy Chase...**

**1)** When he pouts, tell him that he looks constipated.

**2)** Constantly ask him if he has a thing for Caleb since he never shuts up about him.

**3)** If he starts preaching about his powers and family line stare at him blankly and reply "Me thinks someone has some DADDY issues he needs to work out."

**4)** Ask him if he needs a hug.

**5)** If he gets mad say "Oh what are you gonna do, hit me with a Jell-O blob? Oh no, my calorie intake!"

**6)** Make fun of him because he's not as manly as the OTHER sons of Ipswich.

**7)** Or as hot.

**8)** Constantly refer to him as the less hot version of Caleb.

**9)** Stare at him for a long time until he gets mad and demands to know why.

**10)** When he does say "I honestly don't get what the Mary Sues see in you."

**11)** When he asks what a Marry Sue is, point the rapidly growing group of girls who act like Reid out and throw him to them!

**12)** While he's being mauled, flirt with Caleb.

**13)** Make him read fics where he's paired with Caleb and laugh at his shocked expression.

**14)** If he gets mad, reply with "Oh, but you two make such a cute couple."

**15)** Constantly ask him who's on top and then insist its Caleb when he doesn't answer because Caleb's manlier.

**16)** ...and doesn't have boobs!

**17)** Buy him a bra for those man melons

**18)** Tease him about the fact that his great - great - great – great – great - great grandpa was a horn dog and ask if he's one

**19)** If he says yes, pop back with "I knew it, you've only known Caleb for less then a week and already you've mounted and kissed him on the bathroom floor."

**20)** Tell him Caleb has a thing for Pogue and laugh when he tries not to pout

**21)** Then tell him Gorman's still available.

**22)** If any of these infuriate him and he uses that dark voice of his pipe back with a stern voice. "Oh you did not just use the Big-Boy voice on me!"

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Reviews are like crack to me so give me my fix dammit.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's part two, thanks for playing along

**Ways to Annoy Caleb**

**1)** Call him Luke

**2)** Constantly tell Sarah he's gay

**3)** When him and Reid start their normal arguing, yell at the top of your lungs "Get a fucking room you two…and make sure it's sound proof!"

**4)** Constantly ask him why they picked him to be "The Chosen One" when he's too EMO and moody to fit the description

**5)** Repeatedly say "Cheer up EMO kid" when he pouts

**6)** Steal his Mustang and run Sarah over with it

**7)** Repeat number 6 as many times as possible

**8)** Poke his father with a stick and scream when William looks at you

**9)** Ship him with Pogue and make him read your fics

**10)** Mainly the NC-17 ones

**11)** When he blushes reply with "Oh come on, I've seen the way you look at him"

**12)** And for a laugh make him read Mary Sue fics

**13)** When he screams in terror send Pogue over there to comfort him

**14)** If they start getting closer together, grab a camera and start filming

**15)** Feel free to coach them from the sidelines and make sure you point out the parts they're doing wrong.

**16)** Tell him you REALLY know what happened between him and Chase in the bathroom

**17)** ...And the barn, and that night at Nicky's and of course the swimming pool

**18)** Constantly tease him about being monotoned

**19)** Make fun of him for only having five different facial expressions throughout the entire movie

**20)** Accompany him on his dates with Sarah and constantly drop hints about his feelings for Reid

**21)** If number 20 doesn't work, try the using other boys

**22)** If he gets mad claim Chase made you do it


	3. Chapter 3

Guh I can't stop making these damn things, probably because it's the only thing cheering me up at the moment...make sure you keep an eye out for updates

**Ways to Annoy Pogue**

**1)** Tease him about the size of his tiny speedo

**2)** Constantly try to slide dollar bills into his hip-huggers

**3)** When he's near his motorcycle sing at the top of your lungs "Save a Ducati, ride and rider!"

**4)** Ask him why he couldn't afford a Yamaha or a Suzuki because they kick much more ass in the AMA

**5)** Always point out the fact that whenever he's around Caleb he never waists an opportunity to touch/grope/fondle him

**6)** Laugh at all the times he competes with Chase for Caleb's attention

**7)** Ask him why he didn't get much screen time in the movie

**8)** Ask why he settled with Kate when Tyler's still available

**9)** If that upsets the "Princess" tell her to stand next to Sarah and steal Caleb's Mustang

**10)** Force him read 'The Crimson Ritual' non stop

**11)** Especially the part where him and Caleb have sex and laugh at the look on his face

**12)** Call him a Diva or a Drama queen when he starts his normal ranting/bitching about Chase

**13)** Use any excuse you can think of to touch his muscles (Swoons)

**14)** And those wonderful abs

**15)** Set him up on a blind date

**16)** …with Chase

**17)** Tell him Kate dumped him for Sarah

**18)** Lock him and Caleb in a closet somewhere and don't let them out until there's some decent boy on boy action going on

**19)** Mimic Chase's dark voice and recite "Little Miss Muffet" constantly

**20)** Constantly refer to the scene where he picks himself off the ground after Chase flips his bike as "The Gratuitous Ass Shot"

**21)** Fill his room with pictures of Caleb

**22)** Ask him if he's good at sucking cock because he sure knows how to make a French fry very happy (Yes I said cock again, you can't censor me. Mwahaha!)


	4. Chapter 4

I'm trying to update this as fast as I can in order to start a new humor fic I got the idea for the other day so check back daily for updates.

**Ways to annoy Reid**

**1)** Act like him 24/7

**2)** Ask him why he and Tyler are always wearing each other's clothes

**3)** Run up to him and say "OMG I just found out how to stop the aging" and when he demands to know how stare at him for a long moment then reply "Wait, what were we talking about?"

**4)** Tell him to quit flirting when he starts his normal tiffs with Caleb

**5)** Flirt with Tyler non stop

**6)** Ask him if he wears a thong

**7)** If he says no reply with "Well, the tan line on your ass says otherwise thong-boy"

**8)** Tell him you know what him and Tyler/Chance are REALLY doing off camera

**9)** Ask if you can watch

**10)** If he says no just shrug and say "Oh well, I'll see it when it comes out on video."

**11)** When he demands to know what you're talking about hold up a camera and run away

**12)** Dress like Super Nanny when he does something bad and tell him "That was vary, vary naughty"

**13)** Make him read all of the Mary Sue fics where they end up paired with him (That'll take a while!)

**14)** Tease him relentlessly about his feelings for Tyler

**15)** When he gets mad jump up and yell "Ah-ha, I knew it!" then run off to tell Tyler

**16)** Keeping getting him to say the word "Asshole" in that lovely British accent of his (Seriously, that cracked me up in his interview)

**17)** Ask him where the hell the British accent came from (I'm talking about the character, not the actor. Yes I know Toby's British.)

**18)** Tell him he has girly legs because….well he does

**19)** Steal Lt Dangle's short shorts and make him wear them

**20)** Ask him how he feels about having so many OC siblings that act just like him

**21)** When him and Tyler are talking pretend to ease drop and then pop off at random times "What was that? All I heard were the words 'suck' and 'cock'?"

**22)** Tell him it's okay to be together with Tyler because it's practically 'Cannon'.

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My To-Do list

1) Update TCR

2) Update Redeemer

3) Work on new AMA slash

4) Finish this

...see how busy I am?


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the wait, blame my damn Hostel muse 'cause it wouldn't shut up until I updated Redeemer. And to answer a question someone was nice enough to ask, yes I believe Reid and Tyler are together because I'm a Reid/Tyler shipper and also a Reid/Caleb, Pogue/Tyler, Caleb/Tyler and just about anyone I can throw in there shipper. Come on, you all know me, slash is beautiful in all forms...provided the guys are hot.

**Ways to annoy Tyler**

**1)** Call him "Baby Boy" non stop because you know you want to

**2)** Act like Reid 24/7

**3)** Make fun of him for not having many lines in the movie

**4)** Ship him with Reid because it's practically cannon nowadays

**5)** Steal his Hummer and get it painted pink

**6)** Then give it back to him claiming you don't see a problem

**7)** Constantly point out the fact that he's _always_ wearing Reid's clothing (I know I do )

**8)** Tease him about always getting a cubby when Reid's around

**9)** Especially the part by the pool

**10)** Ask him if he thinks Aaron's hot

**11)** If he says no say "Well, the bulge in your pants says otherwise."

**12)** Make him read Mary Sue and (I actually can't believe I'm saying this) Gary Sue fics and smack him for cheating on Reid

**13)** Drive his hummer off the edge of the cliff and make him bring it back again

**14)** Repeat number 13 as many times as you can squealing "Let's go again, let's go again!"

**15)** Ship him with Chase

**16)** Ask him repeatedly if he's wearing eyeliner

**17)** If he says yes, write the name of the brand down and send it to me!

**18)** Point out the fact that he TOATALLY has his eyes on Reid's ass the entire time the blonde's walking around naked!

**19)** And the fact that his cheeks are red the entire time

**20)** Always refer to him as the much hotter and less EMO version of Caleb

**21)** Tease him about his eyebrows

**22)** Give him a _long_ and _graphic_ talk about the birds and the…well the birds

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And no, the fun doesn't stop here. I'm gonna keep going because how can I possibly pass up the fact to annoy, Sarah, Kate, Aaron and Gorman?


End file.
